- was that thing that just fell in someone’s apartment a thing that fell in MY apartment, or my neighbor’s?
- "your dog is so cute! do you need a dogwalker?"
- raise your hand if you live in the building across from mine and you have seen me naked.
- oh, that’s. that’s a lot.
- WHO IS COOKING AND ARE…
You are not the real Slim Shady, please sit down.
So I was at the library today, and before checking out the book of scary stories I have to look through for a program I’m helping with and another book, I stopped by the graphic novel section because I wanted to start reading the Spider-Girl comics, and on my way out I checked to see if we have any of the Supernatural graphic novels. Well, we do, and while I didn’t check any out, I did find out something really cool. According to the plot synopsis of issue #4, The Hounds of Edinburgh, Hunters ARE a thing in other countries (ie. Britain), but they call themselves “Breakers” (I don’t know why. I guess you have to read it to find that out), sort of like how Girl Scouts are known as Girl Guides over there.
Can you imagine the possibilities, though? Irish Breakers that deal with troublesome fey. Greek Breakers taking down the pagan gods on their home turf when they get out of hand. I could speculate on this for HOURS.
Forget SuperWhoLock, I want a spinoff series about the Breakers.
oh crap i think even my hair has a sugar high now
Okay, that was my entire lunch right there
I think I’ll eat nothing but salad for the rest of my life, now.
godzzillionaire said: omg don’t hurt yourself with the salad D:
I was kidding about that because I ate a giant slice of chocolate cake that had like, six different kinds of chocolate stuff in it omg
I would never permanently give up real food in favor of salad
what haircuts tell you about sexuality:
- straight girls all have long hair
- lesbians always have short hair
- bisexuals wear an elegant yet easy to maintain bob
- asexuals shave their head in the style of the pious monk
- pansexuals put pans on their head. they put a fucking pan on th
No no no no, just no. OMG enough with the stereotypes, I’m 100% lesbian with a damn long hair. Stop it.
Did you even read it till the end?
I swear to every heaven ever imagined,
if I hear one more dead-eyed hipster
tell me that art is dead, I will personally summon Shakespeare
from the grave so he can tell them every reason
why he wishes he were born in a time where
he could have a damn Gmail account.
The day after I taught my mother
how to send pictures over Iphone she texted
me a blurry image of our cocker spaniel ten times in a row.
Don’t you dare try to tell me that that is not beautiful.
But whatever, go ahead and choose to stay in
your backwards-hoping-all-inclusive club
while the rest of us fall in love over Skype.
Send angry letters to state representatives,
as we record the years first sunrise so
we can remember what beginning feels like when
we are inches away from the trigger.
Lock yourself away in your Antoinette castle
while eat cake and tweet to the whole universe that we did.
Hashtag you’re a pretentious ass hole.
Van Gogh would have taken 20 selflies a day.
Sylvia Plath would have texted her lovers
nothing but heart eyed emojis when she ran out of words.
Andy Warhol would have had the worlds weirdest Vine account,
and we all would have checked it every morning while we
Snap Chat our coffee orders to the people
we wish were pressed against our lips instead of lattes.
This life is spilling over with 85 year olds
rewatching JFK’s assassination and
7 year olds teaching themselves guitar over Youtube videos.
Never again do I have to be afraid of forgetting
what my fathers voice sounds like.
No longer must we sneak into our families phonebook
to look up an eating disorder hotline for our best friend.
No more must I wonder what people in Australia sound like
or how grasshoppers procreate.
I will gleefully continue to take pictures of tulips
in public parks on my cellphone
and you will continue to scoff and that is okay.
But I hope, I pray, that one day you will realize how blessed
you are to be alive in a moment where you can google search
how to say I love you in 164 different languages.
b.e.fitzgerald (Art is a Facebook status about your winter break.)